In this article, I want to share some tips about a topic we've all faced many times in our lives: "rejection" and how to handle it.
Let's begin by defining rejection. To "reject," according to Webster's Dictionary, is "to throw or fling back; to refuse to take, agree to, use, believe, etc." Rejection is the act of being rejected.
It was interesting to me that the word "rejection" comes right before "rejoice" in the dictionary. "Rejoice" means "being glad, happy or delighted; to be full of joy." What if we learned to integrate the lessons learned from rejection as a doorway or stepping stone toward more rejoicing?
In the book, "It's What We Do Together That Counts: The BIC Alliance Story," I make a statement that anyone who enters into the profession of successful management or sales needs to shed their bad attitude. The best way to get rid of a bad attitude is to be able to handle disappointment. We must take rejection and use it as a way to improve our performance. Once we master the ability of thinking of rejection as the forerunner of rejoicing, life becomes a lot more exciting, and good things begin to happen.
As children, we might have thrown a fit when we couldn't get the toy we wanted or when our parents rejected our request to do something. As we entered adolescence, we experienced other rejections, such as not making a sports team or missing out on a part in the school play. We also had rejections in our romantic lives; how many of us still remember the heartbreak of rejection from a first love?
Back in the early days, I learned a painful lesson about handling rejection. I used to think of rejection as something personal, and every time I got rejected, I felt the person simply didn't like me. I, like many adults tend to do, acted like a spoiled child when I got rejected.
Rejection is something we all have experience with. Some of us have earned a degree from the "school of hard knocks." For some of us, the course we failed the most was how to handle rejection. Handling rejection properly is not only a sign of maturity and character; it's the sign of a true professional.
It's easy to think of how others handle rejection, but harder to consider ourselves. How would you rate yourself on handling rejection? If you've ever been passed over for a promotion or lost a big sale, how did you react to that disappointment? Were you diplomatic and professional, or did you pout and throw a tantrum?
Achieving success and avoiding disappointment is often as simple as exceeding the expectations of those who hold the power to reject you. I believe that while relationships are supposed to be 50/50, you'll be better off if you give 55 percent. When you go that extra step, people take notice and are less likely to deliver disappointment.
In sales, preparation includes everything from doing your homework on the company you're pitching to making sure you have every sales aid you'll need. Preparation also applies to what you'll say during your presentation. Always think before you speak. In your mind, plan how you'll respond if everything goes perfectly, and prepare for how you'll react if you're rejected. If you stick to your plan instead of blurting out something inappropriate, you'll turn that rejection into a stepping stone for future acceptance instead of closing the door forever.
On that note, consider asking the people who reject you what led to their decision. Let the person know you appreciated the opportunity to make your presentation, and you're disappointed you didn't get a positive response. Ask if there was something you didn't do or say that resulted in the rejection. Invite the other person to give you candid feedback so you can improve in the future.
For those of us in sales, the fact is: We get rejected often. Most salespeople give up after two or three rejections, but the best sales are often made after seven to nine rejections. That's where persistence comes into play.
I view turndowns as a missed opportunity for both parties, but I also try to see rejection as a doorway to future opportunities. Rejection is just for today, not forever. Take the disappointment of rejection and turn it into your chance to learn how to improve.
For more information, contact Earl Heard at earlheard@bicalliance.com or call (281) 538-9996.
