Some people are lucky and can escape the dark trap of endlessly worrying. Others not so much; they have the "what ifs" crawling inside their ears, whispering stories of danger, fear, doubt, failure and pain. "What if I fail?" "What if I look stupid?" "What if I get fired?" "What if I die?"
We all worry. According to a Psychology Today article, "At least one in four Americans -- about 65 million of us -- will meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder at some point in our lifetime. Even those individuals whose lives are going well may worry excessively on occasion." In our best moments, worry causes our minds to play out dramas that leave us feeling powerless, vulnerable and afraid. In our worst moments, worry can be paralyzing and health-diminishing. Excessive worrying can lead to poor decision-making and deter us from taking life-improving risks.
The crazy part is 99.9 percent of the time, the things we fret about never happen. Worry is a time waster, an energy suck, a diminisher of life quality. Engaging in it rarely changes anything. Unfortunately, it's hard to stop worrying. But there are some ways to get out of your brain-spinning story of fear and worry. Here are five tips:
1.Get some exercise. Moving your body is guaranteed to make you feel better. It not only provides a distraction, but exercise also causes your body to release endorphins, which are "feel good" hormones that increase happiness, focus and energy. Work up a sweat, get your blood pumping and then notice how you feel. In my experience, exercising is the No. 1 way to reduce stress and anxiety.
2.Challenge the worry with tough questions. Put your worry into perspective by journaling about it. Write down what you are worried about and why. Then, ask yourself these questions and record the answers in your notebook.
- "Of all the things I've worried about, how many have come to be?"
- "If this worry does come true, what's the worst thing that could happen? What's the best thing that could happen? What's most likely going to happen?"
- "Is this worry within my control? If it is, what can I do to help my situation? If it's not, what can I do to reduce my fear?"
- "How will I feel about this worry when I read about it in my journal tomorrow?"
- Look at the answers the following day to gain perspective. If needed, continue journaling about it.
3.Power pose. Power posing is the use of dominant body postures to gain confidence and reduce anxiety. While there are power posing naysayers, I have found doing them to be incredibly helpful when I am feeling anxious, especially when it comes to speaking in front of people. Power posing is easy; find someplace private, put your hands on your hips like Wonder Woman, stand up straight, puff out your chest and breathe deeply with a smile on your face. Hold the pose for a few minutes, and you'll be surprised how much better you feel.
4.Talk it out. Talking about your worry allows you to process it while gaining perspective and insight. Ask a confidant to listen and offer advice. If that doesn't work, a therapist can be a good listener and provide you with worry-management tools. If your worry is about another person's feelings, actions, etc., go talk to the person. While initiating the conversation may be difficult, you'll have a sense of relief when you get to the bottom of it. You may not like what you hear, but at least you'll have concrete information and/or feedback. Even better, you may find out your worry was all for naught and you can let it go.
5.Get some sleep. Sleep deprivation has been proven to increase anxiety and depression, compounding the "what if " problem. To better handle what life throws at you, get seven or eight hours of sleep each night. Of course, excessive worrying can cause insomnia, creating a cycle that's hard to break.
A small amount of worry is healthy, but letting it take over your life can lead to major health issues. The good news is most of what you worry about will never come to be. For those things that do, trust yourself and your capacity to handle whatever life throws at you. You can cope with, survive and move beyond whatever happens. Believe in yourself, and you will be pleasantly surprised.
For more information, contact Kerry Siggins at kerry.siggins@stone agetools.com. To read her blog, visit www.kerrysiggins.com/blog.
