Early in my career, I put considerable pressure on myself to "do it all." If I didn't have every minute of my day filled with something I considered productive, I felt guilty. This caused me to say "yes" to everything, whether it was sitting on boards, volunteering, holding meetings at all hours of the day, working long hours, etc. I was constantly on the go, and while doing all these things brought me some fulfillment, I always felt rushed and stressed, which also brought on feelings of resentment.
Kerry Siggins, CEO, StoneAge
When I got pregnant in 2012, I decided to change all of this. To me, there is nothing more important than raising a happy child and nurturing my family. I also had a demanding career that I loved, one which required a significant amount of time and attention. How would I balance these two very important aspects of my life, both of which competed for my time? The only way was to "just say no" to anything that wasn't related to my family or company.
By the time Jack was born at the end of 2012, I had cleared my plate. This was not easy for me to do, mostly because I felt a deep sense of obligation and responsibility to several of the organizations with which I was involved. Simultaneously, I felt a deep sense of relief. It felt good to have time to be a mom and a wife, not that I had much of a choice since a newborn doesn't care if you have work or meetings to go to.
For the most part, I have stayed true to this commitment and some amazing things have happened. My son is now 7, and I get to take him to school almost every day. I go to soccer games and BMX practice, and we play Yahtzee or read before bed each night. I found a deep love for cooking and create meals for my family each day. I have a fantastic relationship with my husband, and I spend time with my mom. I take care of myself by meditating and getting regular massages and acupuncture treatments. I trail run, ride my mountain bike, ski and work out, which I enjoy, but each activity also provides stress relief. I have time to think about my company's strategy, culture and growth. I go to work feeling energized and excited about my day. I read books, one of my favorite pastimes. I have time to speak publicly, which is incredibly rewarding to me. I'm also writing again, something I love to do but hadn't made the time for previously. Sometimes I just sit, have a cup of coffee and look out the window, feeling content that I'm doing nothing at all besides just being.
Sure, I'm busy and work hard. I still make tradeoffs, and there are times when I have to put work in front of my family. But my life is balanced, and I only say "yes" to the things that are most important to me. I'm happier and more satisfied than I've ever been in my life, and I've gotten really good at saying "no."
The COVID-19 pandemic has made so many of us stop and consider what's most important. It's not easy to find balance when life gets overwhelming. You might be asking, "Where do I start?" My suggestion is to make a list of the most important things in your life. These are the things you absolutely can't give up such as family, work and health. Then make a list of what you want your future to look like. I can promise you this: To be that future version of yourself, you must have intention, you must have a plan and you must act. If you are too busy to work on the future version of you, it will be almost impossible to get there. For example, I want to write a book someday, so I decided I better start writing more, hence this article and my blog. After you have documented your "future vision," make a list of things you do that aren't vitally important to your life and the things you do that won't help you get to the future version of yourself. Next to each of those, list a few ways you can shed them from your life. Pick two or three to start with, and just say "no." It really can be that easy.
I was worried that when I stopped taking on so much, people would judge me for not giving back more. Instead, every time I've said "no" and explained why, I received a reply like this: "I wish I would have done that more often."
Be brave, create your life and remember, less is more.
For more information, contact Kerry Siggins at kerry.siggins@stoneagetools.com. To read her blog, visit www.kerrysiggins.com/blog.
